It sure seems like we ought to be able to stop this annoying behavior. We set our goals, and we almost reach the finish line, and then we put on the brakes. Our negative self-talk creates havoc with our intentions. We end up sabotaging our own success. Why do we do this?
One of the main reasons is that we have “writing on our walls” that goes clear back to childhood. That’s when we created the core beliefs that are stored in our subconscious mind. Things like “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not worthy or deserving” or “I’m not lovable”.
According to scientist and Cellular Biologist Dr. Bruce Lipton, the subconscious mind is running the show in our lives 95% of the time. So you can see how limiting it is to allow the decisions we made about ourselves when we were very young to influence our lives even today in a very big way. And the things we decided about ourselves were absolutely not true!
Our reality is created by our consistent thoughts. The writing on our walls becomes our consistent thoughts, and they can be quite limiting, if we allow them to be. If we want a new reality, we have to change our consistent thoughts. Treat them as though you are passing a sign on a highway. If we don’t ignore our negative thoughts and beliefs, or if we allow them to run our lives, we will SABOTAGE whatever it is we are trying to accomplish.
Sometimes we sabotage ourselves because we want something, but we don’t. When this happens we have 2 opposing strategies at play. Gary Craig, founder of EFT, calls this “Psychological Reversal”. Examples: We want to achieve the goal, but we don’t (we’re afraid we might actually succeed). We want to lose weight, but we don’t (we might not feel safe) We want a relationship, but we don’t (it might not work out).
EFT is an amazing tool for eliminating Self-Sabotage. In fact the set-up statement used in EFT is designed to eliminate Psychological Reversal”. That’s why EFT works when many other techniques don’t.
Some of the most common forms of self-sabotage are Procrastination, Perfectionism, and Control Issues. I find that most of my clients need help in these areas. We go very deep using techniques such as Matrix Reimprinting to discover where the sabotage originated. From there my clients are able to reprogram their subconscious mind, even re-creating specific events, and the results are life-changing.
Other ways to eliminate Self-Sabotage:
- Observe what words you use. For example, you might say to yourself, “I started this day out on the wrong foot.” What does this create? A bad day! Instead, say: “I am so grateful for this day.”
- Examples of words to avoid: Can’t, problem, stressed, struggle, anxious, failure. Words to use instead: Excited, vibrant, blessed, awesome, and passionate.
- Watch for the “yes, but . . .” or the “if only . . .” or the “I’m trying . . .” These are words that keep us stuck.
- Shift your sources: We don’t have to watch the news 24/7 (most of it is quite negative). We can invest in positive and motivational books and programs. We can spend time with people who uplift us, rather than being around those who are negative.
There are so many tools out there to help you overcome Self-Sabotage. Find them, and from there, the sky is the limit. You will find yourself achieving your dreams and living a fulfilling and joy-filled life.